Intelligent Pappu

Pappu nadi pe nahane ja raha tha...!

School ke peeche nadi main Principle Doob raha tha...!!

Pappu ne Dekha aur Zor Zor se chillate hue Bhaaga...!!!

KAL CHUTTE HAI... KAL CHUTTE HAI ....!!!!

Pappu rocks 

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Fabulous reply from Beggar

Begger : Please give me Rs 20 for coffee sir

Man : But coffee costs only Rs 10

Begger : I have girlfriend with me

Man : Being a begger you have girlfriend also? !

Begger : Because of her only I have become begger


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Hilarious situation of Love proposal

A guy was in love with a girl but never had the guts to tell her.

One night around 10'o clock, he gathered some courage & sent her a text with these honest words... "Sneha, I love you, Please reply & tell me how you feel."

Few seconds later he received a message alert on his phone.

He was so scared and too tensed to open it that night

So he decided not to check the message until the next morning when he's less tense and in better senses. So he went to sleep.

When he woke up the next day he prayed seriously about the message for good news, went about doing his morning chores, brushed his teeth, ate his breakfast took a bath, dressed himself up then climbed into bed and picked his phone to read the message on his phone.

This was the response he read: "Dear customer, you have insufficient balance to send this message. Please recharge your account and try again".

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Intelligent Husband 2

Husband sent a text to wife at night,
"Hi, I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes And make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."

Obviously He didn't get reply from his wife 

He sent another text, "I forgot to tell u that I got an increase in My salary at the end of month I'm getting u a new car "

She text back, " OMG really? " 

Husband Replied: " No, I just wanted to make sure you got my 1st message." 


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Student Mistakes

If a Barber makes a mistake... It's a New Style

If a Politician makes a mistake... It's a New Law

If a Scientist makes a mistake... It's a New Invention

If a Tailor makes a mistake... Its a New Style

If a Teacher makes a mistake... It's a New Theory

But...
If a Student Makes a mistake... It's always Mistake only


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Couple in African Safari

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on a tourist's wife.

Wife : Shoot him! Shoot him!

Husband: Yes, Yes. wait for a minute... I'm changing the battery of my camera.



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Husband Problems...

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

" You'll get your chance in court.", said the Policeman.

" No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"


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Why Ladies hate Doctors?

Before giving Anesthesia Doctor asked Lady. " Whats Your Age Madam? "
Lady : 24 years!

Doctor : Madam are you sure this is correct age? Because the amount of Anesthesia will depend upon your age.
Lady : 30 years!

Doctor : Look Madam.. it's upto u. Lesser amount of Anesthesia could wake u up during operation and u could go into comma as well.
Lady : 38..

Doctor : ( Once again..) Look Madam.. if u are not gonna tell me ur real age then wrong amount of Anesthesia will directly affect your livers and they may fail as well.
Lady : Screamed and said.. 49! That's it, I am not gonna change my age any further even though my dead body comes out of the operation Theater.

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Boys..... Beware of Girls.

Girl texts her Boyfriend.....

Girl: Sweetheart...? Am down and need some money to fix my Hair.

Boy : No problem sweety.(he sends her some cash).
[The Girl went missing for a couple of weeks, no calls, no texts and when he tried to call her.... "user busy, not available, can not be reached and few weeks later she texts him again......

Girl: Baby....? missed you but not okay, am down and I need some money for my outfits.

Boy : Okay sweety am there for you. (He again sent her some money).
[The Girl went missing again, this time for full month].

A month later she came back again, this time she made a phone call.....

Girl: Honey I Really missed, how are you, I just called to let you know it's my birthday and I need some money for the shopping.

Boy : Hey whatsapp, you only appear when you need money from me, Do you really love me or you are just taking advantage of Love.

Girl: Baby I love you so much how can you talk that way, don't you trust me ?

Boy : I do but how can you keep me waiting this long?? Are you serious with this relationship?.

Girl: Am really serious just be patient and trust me, I still love you just send me some money.

Boy : Okay but don't keep me waiting this long. [He again sent her some money for the shopping]

How can you describe this Guy?



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How silly A Mother-in-law supports her Daughter

A Mother-in-law arrives home from the market to find her Son-in-law boiling with anger and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

" What happened? " She asks anxiously.

" What happened?!! I will tell you what happened. " Son-in-law answered 

I sent a WhatsApp text to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found? 'Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our bedroom!' This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

" Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. 

" There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I will go and speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

" I told you na there must be a simple explanation"

" WHAT? " Her Son-in-law asked.

" She didn't receive your WhatsApp, that's why! " 


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Policeman Vs Drug Barons

A policeman arrested 3 drug barons. 
He started saying, " Idiots, you have been caught today selling Cocaine. You shall be sentenced for a long time in prison." 

Baron 1: What the hell? I will give you $1000.
Policeman: You are stupid. (slaps the baron) You think I am corrupt? 

Baron 2: What if I pay you $5000?
Policeman: (punching the baron in the tommy) Give your bloody money to your friends in Jail. 

Baron 3: What if I .... 
Policeman: (Interrupting) If you say .....

Baron 3: (continuing) $ 2 Million.
Policeman: I will ....(shocked), did you just .... Why didn't you tell me that you were just selling pain relievers?



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Stay in 60th floor of A Hotel

Ramesh, Suresh and Mukesh decided to go to China for vacation.

Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a Hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor.

The policy of the hotel was that "At midnight the elevators were shut down."

The next day, these guys rented a car and explored the city. They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel past midnight.

The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get to their room but to take the stairs all the way to the 60th floor.

Ramesh said " For the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Then Suresh could say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly we will cover the final 20 floors with sad stories from Mukesh." 

So, Ramesh started with jokes. With laughs and joy, they reached the 20th floor.

Suresh started saying stories full of wisdom. They learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor.

Now it was time for sad stories. So, Mukesh started: "My first sad story is that I left the Key for the room in the Car"


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Killing reply to Employer

Employer   : How long did you work during your last job? 

Candidate : Thirty years. 

Employer   : Whats your age? 

Candidate : Twenty years. 

Employer   : You are 20 And have 30 Years experience. How is that possible? 

Candidate : Over time. 

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Pappu relaxing at Beach

Pappu was enjoying the sun at the beach when a Lady girl came and asked him, "Are u relaxing?"
Pappu replied; "No, I am Pappu". 

A man came and asked him the same question.
Pappu replied, "No! No! ..I am Pappu!".

Later on a Little Girl came and asked him same question again.
Pappu became angry and decided to move away. 

While walking, he saw a guy sun bathing.He went up to him and asked," Are you Relaxing?" 
The guy replied: "Yes, I am relaxing."

Pappu gave him a hot slap on his face and screamed; "foolish man ,Is it not you everybody is looking for?"

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Husband and Wife were in court for divorce

Husband and Wife were in court for divorce.

 The problem is who gets custody for the child! 

The wife Jumps up and says: 
Your honor, I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody.

 The Judge turns to Husband, 
Husband: (calmly) " Your honor, if I use my ATM card to withdrawn Cash . Whose cash is it? The MACHINE's or MINE? 


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3 Girls Swimming in a Dam

One day, three Girls went swimming in a Nearby Dam..
As usual they undressed and started swimming

20 minutes later, a Middle aged Man came and Stood next to Where they Left their Clothes..

The girls said, "what have you come to see? You are Unlucky because, we won't get out of this waters till you Leave!"

And they started drifting towards the Deepest parts..

The man replied, "I have got nothing to do with you, I just came to feed the Crocodiles in here!"

The girls immediately jumps out of the water.




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Newly married Girl Speech

A newly wedded girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.
She was asked to give a little speech. 

She addressed as follows;
"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family"

She said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here.
I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?", asked her Mother- In-Law.

What I mean is: 
Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cook should not stop on my account. Those who used to clean should continue cleaning.

As for me, I am here just to control your son.



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Funny Definitions of KISS

What Is a " Kiss " .??? 

Different Answers from Different Languages

Maths : "Kiss is the shortest distance between the 2 Lips" 

Biology : "Kiss is just the exchange of germs from one mouth to another"

Chemistry : " Kiss is a process of testing the pH of the lips " 

Physics : " It's a process of charging a human body "

Computer : " Kiss is a local area network in which 2 bodies are connected without a data cable "

Economics : "Kiss is a process in which quantity Demanded is higher than quantity Supplied "

English : "Kiss is a touch or caress with the lips "

Commerce : kiss what we call traded by batter

Accounting : kiss a balances sheet where debit side and credit side are equal. 


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You are absolutely the right Man for my Daughter

Father-In-Law : Young man, You are coming to seek my daughter's hand in marriage and you are chewing gum.That's a sign of disrespect! .

Bridegroom : Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.

Father-In-Law : You mean you drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter's hand in marriage? .

Bridegroom : Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the Club.

Father-In-Law : You club too? .

Bridegroom : I'm sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison.

Father-In-Law : You have also been in prison before? Oh my God! .

Bridegroom : Sorry sir, I went to Jail when I killed somebody!!.

Father-In-Law : What!!! You are a killer??? .

Bridegroom : Sir, It happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn't allow me to marry his daughter so I killed him. .

Father-In-Law : You are highly welcome my son. You are on the right track. You are absolutely the right Man for my Daughter

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Innocent Wife...

Wife called her scientist husband.

"Honey... It's Saturday... and you are late."

Husband: I'm busy with my team in an experiment. 

Wife: What's that? 

Husband: 
We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH *(alcohol)* with ambiant temperature H2O *(water)* and aqueous CO2 *(soda)*. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O *(ice cubes)*, now while waiting for some protein *(snacks)*, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine *(smoking)*... It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."

Wife: Oh dear... I won't disturb you. Take ur time...



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