Boys..... Beware of Girls.

Girl texts her Boyfriend.....

Girl: Sweetheart...? Am down and need some money to fix my Hair.

Boy : No problem sweety.(he sends her some cash).
[The Girl went missing for a couple of weeks, no calls, no texts and when he tried to call her.... "user busy, not available, can not be reached and few weeks later she texts him again......

Girl: Baby....? missed you but not okay, am down and I need some money for my outfits.

Boy : Okay sweety am there for you. (He again sent her some money).
[The Girl went missing again, this time for full month].

A month later she came back again, this time she made a phone call.....

Girl: Honey I Really missed, how are you, I just called to let you know it's my birthday and I need some money for the shopping.

Boy : Hey whatsapp, you only appear when you need money from me, Do you really love me or you are just taking advantage of Love.

Girl: Baby I love you so much how can you talk that way, don't you trust me ?

Boy : I do but how can you keep me waiting this long?? Are you serious with this relationship?.

Girl: Am really serious just be patient and trust me, I still love you just send me some money.

Boy : Okay but don't keep me waiting this long. [He again sent her some money for the shopping]

How can you describe this Guy?



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How silly A Mother-in-law supports her Daughter

A Mother-in-law arrives home from the market to find her Son-in-law boiling with anger and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

" What happened? " She asks anxiously.

" What happened?!! I will tell you what happened. " Son-in-law answered 

I sent a WhatsApp text to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found? 'Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our bedroom!' This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

" Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. 

" There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I will go and speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

" I told you na there must be a simple explanation"

" WHAT? " Her Son-in-law asked.

" She didn't receive your WhatsApp, that's why! " 


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Policeman Vs Drug Barons

A policeman arrested 3 drug barons. 
He started saying, " Idiots, you have been caught today selling Cocaine. You shall be sentenced for a long time in prison." 

Baron 1: What the hell? I will give you $1000.
Policeman: You are stupid. (slaps the baron) You think I am corrupt? 

Baron 2: What if I pay you $5000?
Policeman: (punching the baron in the tommy) Give your bloody money to your friends in Jail. 

Baron 3: What if I .... 
Policeman: (Interrupting) If you say .....

Baron 3: (continuing) $ 2 Million.
Policeman: I will ....(shocked), did you just .... Why didn't you tell me that you were just selling pain relievers?



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Stay in 60th floor of A Hotel

Ramesh, Suresh and Mukesh decided to go to China for vacation.

Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a Hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor.

The policy of the hotel was that "At midnight the elevators were shut down."

The next day, these guys rented a car and explored the city. They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel past midnight.

The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get to their room but to take the stairs all the way to the 60th floor.

Ramesh said " For the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Then Suresh could say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly we will cover the final 20 floors with sad stories from Mukesh." 

So, Ramesh started with jokes. With laughs and joy, they reached the 20th floor.

Suresh started saying stories full of wisdom. They learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor.

Now it was time for sad stories. So, Mukesh started: "My first sad story is that I left the Key for the room in the Car"


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Killing reply to Employer

Employer   : How long did you work during your last job? 

Candidate : Thirty years. 

Employer   : Whats your age? 

Candidate : Twenty years. 

Employer   : You are 20 And have 30 Years experience. How is that possible? 

Candidate : Over time. 

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Pappu relaxing at Beach

Pappu was enjoying the sun at the beach when a Lady girl came and asked him, "Are u relaxing?"
Pappu replied; "No, I am Pappu". 

A man came and asked him the same question.
Pappu replied, "No! No! ..I am Pappu!".

Later on a Little Girl came and asked him same question again.
Pappu became angry and decided to move away. 

While walking, he saw a guy sun bathing.He went up to him and asked," Are you Relaxing?" 
The guy replied: "Yes, I am relaxing."

Pappu gave him a hot slap on his face and screamed; "foolish man ,Is it not you everybody is looking for?"

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Husband and Wife were in court for divorce

Husband and Wife were in court for divorce.

 The problem is who gets custody for the child! 

The wife Jumps up and says: 
Your honor, I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody.

 The Judge turns to Husband, 
Husband: (calmly) " Your honor, if I use my ATM card to withdrawn Cash . Whose cash is it? The MACHINE's or MINE? 


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