Crazy Prescription

Doctor to Patient : What's your problem?

Patient : I am feeling sleepy every time and tending to sleep more

Doctor : Which mobile you are using?

Patient : Nokia 1100

Doctor : Ok. I will write a prescription for Smart phone and use Jio sim in it and install whatsapp & Facebook.

You will be alright in a week....!!!



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SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl's name is?

Me : Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel?

(Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You're no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK. OK. A vowel is... ahh... eh... well, oh... uh...

Me: Close enough.



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I Was In The Restaurant Yesterday When I Suddenly Realized

I Was In The Restaurant

Yesterday When I Suddenly Realized,

I Desperately Needed To Pass Gas.

The Music Was Really, Really Loud,

So I I Timed My Gas With The Beat Of The Music.

After A Couple Of Songs, I Started To Feel Better.

I Finished My Coffee, And Noticed That Everybody Was

Staring At Me. Then I Suddenly Remembered That I Was

Listening To My iPod....



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Never Loose Confident Boy

Never Loose Confident Boy Can There Be Anything Worse than Losing A Girlfriend ?

Old Man Replied :- Yes... . . . . .

Losing Your Confidence of Finding Another One!

Wife vs Thief

Police Inspector: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card at that time?

Husband: The Thief was spending less than my wife.

Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?

Husband: I think now the Thief's wife has started using it!














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Killing reply to Husband...

Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?

Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?

Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?

Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?

In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.

Husband: Who did all this ?

Wife: Our neighbor.
But he gave me 2 options.....Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.

Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.

Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds ?!!

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No One Can Beat Indian's Talent

An Indian Doctor can't find a job in USA..
So he opens a clinic and puts a sign
GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...
Lawyer: I have lost my sense of taste.
Doctor : Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.
Lawyer: Ugh..this is kerosene.
Doctor : Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

Lawyer: I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.
Doctor : Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.
Lawyer(Annoyed): This is kerosene. Last time U gave me for restoring my taste.
Doctor : Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.
Doctor : Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.
Lawyer: (staring at the note)* : "But this is $20, not $100.
Doctor : Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20.

*You can't beat Indians* !!!!!



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