Couple in African Safari

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on a tourist's wife.

Wife : Shoot him! Shoot him!

Husband: Yes, Yes. wait for a minute... I'm changing the battery of my camera.



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Husband Problems...

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

" You'll get your chance in court.", said the Policeman.

" No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"


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Why Ladies hate Doctors?

Before giving Anesthesia Doctor asked Lady. " Whats Your Age Madam? "
Lady : 24 years!

Doctor : Madam are you sure this is correct age? Because the amount of Anesthesia will depend upon your age.
Lady : 30 years!

Doctor : Look Madam.. it's upto u. Lesser amount of Anesthesia could wake u up during operation and u could go into comma as well.
Lady : 38..

Doctor : ( Once again..) Look Madam.. if u are not gonna tell me ur real age then wrong amount of Anesthesia will directly affect your livers and they may fail as well.
Lady : Screamed and said.. 49! That's it, I am not gonna change my age any further even though my dead body comes out of the operation Theater.

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Boys..... Beware of Girls.

Girl texts her Boyfriend.....

Girl: Sweetheart...? Am down and need some money to fix my Hair.

Boy : No problem sweety.(he sends her some cash).
[The Girl went missing for a couple of weeks, no calls, no texts and when he tried to call her.... "user busy, not available, can not be reached and few weeks later she texts him again......

Girl: Baby....? missed you but not okay, am down and I need some money for my outfits.

Boy : Okay sweety am there for you. (He again sent her some money).
[The Girl went missing again, this time for full month].

A month later she came back again, this time she made a phone call.....

Girl: Honey I Really missed, how are you, I just called to let you know it's my birthday and I need some money for the shopping.

Boy : Hey whatsapp, you only appear when you need money from me, Do you really love me or you are just taking advantage of Love.

Girl: Baby I love you so much how can you talk that way, don't you trust me ?

Boy : I do but how can you keep me waiting this long?? Are you serious with this relationship?.

Girl: Am really serious just be patient and trust me, I still love you just send me some money.

Boy : Okay but don't keep me waiting this long. [He again sent her some money for the shopping]

How can you describe this Guy?



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How silly A Mother-in-law supports her Daughter

A Mother-in-law arrives home from the market to find her Son-in-law boiling with anger and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

" What happened? " She asks anxiously.

" What happened?!! I will tell you what happened. " Son-in-law answered 

I sent a WhatsApp text to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my business trip. I get home, and guess what I found? 'Yes, your daughter, my wife, with a guy in our bedroom!' This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever !"

" Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. 

" There is something very odd going on here. My daughter would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I will go and speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.

" I told you na there must be a simple explanation"

" WHAT? " Her Son-in-law asked.

" She didn't receive your WhatsApp, that's why! " 


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Policeman Vs Drug Barons

A policeman arrested 3 drug barons. 
He started saying, " Idiots, you have been caught today selling Cocaine. You shall be sentenced for a long time in prison." 

Baron 1: What the hell? I will give you $1000.
Policeman: You are stupid. (slaps the baron) You think I am corrupt? 

Baron 2: What if I pay you $5000?
Policeman: (punching the baron in the tommy) Give your bloody money to your friends in Jail. 

Baron 3: What if I .... 
Policeman: (Interrupting) If you say .....

Baron 3: (continuing) $ 2 Million.
Policeman: I will ....(shocked), did you just .... Why didn't you tell me that you were just selling pain relievers?



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Stay in 60th floor of A Hotel

Ramesh, Suresh and Mukesh decided to go to China for vacation.

Since they were new to the place they had to stay in a Hotel. And their room was on the 60th floor.

The policy of the hotel was that "At midnight the elevators were shut down."

The next day, these guys rented a car and explored the city. They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel past midnight.

The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get to their room but to take the stairs all the way to the 60th floor.

Ramesh said " For the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Then Suresh could say wise stories for the next 20 floors and lastly we will cover the final 20 floors with sad stories from Mukesh." 

So, Ramesh started with jokes. With laughs and joy, they reached the 20th floor.

Suresh started saying stories full of wisdom. They learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor.

Now it was time for sad stories. So, Mukesh started: "My first sad story is that I left the Key for the room in the Car"


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