3 Girls Swimming in a Dam

One day, three Girls went swimming in a Nearby Dam..
As usual they undressed and started swimming

20 minutes later, a Middle aged Man came and Stood next to Where they Left their Clothes..

The girls said, "what have you come to see? You are Unlucky because, we won't get out of this waters till you Leave!"

And they started drifting towards the Deepest parts..

The man replied, "I have got nothing to do with you, I just came to feed the Crocodiles in here!"

The girls immediately jumps out of the water.




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Newly married Girl Speech

A newly wedded girl was being welcomed at the husband's home in a traditional manner.
She was asked to give a little speech. 

She addressed as follows;
"My dear family members, I thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family"

She said "Firstly, with my presence I would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here.
I mean that I don't want you all to change your way of life, your routine."

"What do you mean my child?", asked her Mother- In-Law.

What I mean is: 
Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it. Those who cook should not stop on my account. Those who used to clean should continue cleaning.

As for me, I am here just to control your son.



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Funny Definitions of KISS

What Is a " Kiss " .??? 

Different Answers from Different Languages

Maths : "Kiss is the shortest distance between the 2 Lips" 

Biology : "Kiss is just the exchange of germs from one mouth to another"

Chemistry : " Kiss is a process of testing the pH of the lips " 

Physics : " It's a process of charging a human body "

Computer : " Kiss is a local area network in which 2 bodies are connected without a data cable "

Economics : "Kiss is a process in which quantity Demanded is higher than quantity Supplied "

English : "Kiss is a touch or caress with the lips "

Commerce : kiss what we call traded by batter

Accounting : kiss a balances sheet where debit side and credit side are equal. 


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You are absolutely the right Man for my Daughter

Father-In-Law : Young man, You are coming to seek my daughter's hand in marriage and you are chewing gum.That's a sign of disrespect! .

Bridegroom : Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.

Father-In-Law : You mean you drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter's hand in marriage? .

Bridegroom : Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the Club.

Father-In-Law : You club too? .

Bridegroom : I'm sorry sir, I started clubbing when I came out of prison.

Father-In-Law : You have also been in prison before? Oh my God! .

Bridegroom : Sorry sir, I went to Jail when I killed somebody!!.

Father-In-Law : What!!! You are a killer??? .

Bridegroom : Sir, It happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn't allow me to marry his daughter so I killed him. .

Father-In-Law : You are highly welcome my son. You are on the right track. You are absolutely the right Man for my Daughter

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Innocent Wife...

Wife called her scientist husband.

"Honey... It's Saturday... and you are late."

Husband: I'm busy with my team in an experiment. 

Wife: What's that? 

Husband: 
We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH *(alcohol)* with ambiant temperature H2O *(water)* and aqueous CO2 *(soda)*. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O *(ice cubes)*, now while waiting for some protein *(snacks)*, we are fumigating the lab with vapours of nicotine *(smoking)*... It's 4 or 5 round experiment.. So I will be late."

Wife: Oh dear... I won't disturb you. Take ur time...



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Wife Vs Astrologer

Once Wife goes to PALM reading Astrologer

Astrologer: Do you want to know your Husband future?

Wife: Rubbish, I will decide his future !!   You just tell me his PAST

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I lost my Wife...

Husband:     I lost my wife, she went shopping and hasn't come back yet.

Inspector:     What is her hight?

Husband:     I never checked.

Inspector:     Slim or healthy?

Husband:     Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector:     Colour of eyes?

Husband:     Never noticed.

Inspector:     Was she driving?

Husband:     yes.

Inspector:     Colour of the car?

Husband:    
Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an 8 speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights......and husband starting crying.

Inspector:     Don't worry sir...we will find your car.

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