Funny Chit chat between Ant and Elephant

Ant : How old are you?

Elephant : I am just Four..

Ant : I cant believe... You are this much of bigger in size.

Elephant : I am taking Complan daily. I am a Complan Boy. And How old are you?

Ant : I am Ten

Elephant : You are just like a kid...You are telling lies..

Ant : No, its true.. I have been bathing with Santoor Soap... I am a Santoor Girl.




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Hyderabadi in a Bank

In a bank in Hyderabad

Hyderabadi Customer : Merku Cheque Deposit Karna Hai Kab Tak Clear Karte

Banker : 2 ya 3 Din Mein Clear Hojata

Customer : Dono Banks To Amne Samne Ich Hai Phir Itti Der Kaiku

Banker : Sir, Procedure Follow Karna Padhta, Agar Ap Qabristan Ke Bahar Accident Mein Margaye To Apku Ghar Ku Leke Jate, Gusal Dete, Kafan Pehnate, Janaze Ki Namaz Padhate. Ya Phir Marte Ich Samne Ke Qabristan Mein Dafan Karte

Customer : Aise khatarnak example nakko de re bawa, samajh gaya main..




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Aladdin's Lamp

Husband: I found Aladdin's lamp today

Wife: wow, what did you ask for darling??



Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..

Wife: oh..luv u so much.. Did he do that??



Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero...



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Girls ka Problems

Girl : Ye Jo Samne Ladka Baitha Hai, iska Naam Kya Hai

Waiter: Yeh "PAPPU"Hai..

Girl : Yeh Mujhe 1 Ghante Se Pareshan Kar Raha Hain.

Waiter: Magar Wo To Apki Taraf Dekh Bhi Nahi Raha Hai..

Girl : Yahi To Pareshanii Hai...

Moral: Duniya Shareefon Ko Jeenay Nahi Deti..


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Wife suspecting Husband

Girl to Swamiji:
Swamiji, I doubt my Husband has been cheating on me... I have doubt on one woman..What to do?

Swamiji's reply to Girl:
Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his Wi-Fi connects automatically..

Technology can be dangerous



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Don't suspect Husband all the time.

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

She noticed that there are 4 legs under the blanket instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a Magazine.

"Hi darling", he says, "your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom.

Hope you have said hello to them.



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Airline's special package for Men

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.

Buy Your Ticket Get Your Wife's Ticket Free

After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply... " Which Trip ? "


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Don't be smart always with your Wife

Wife asked her husband to give the newspaper ....

Husband: How backward you are?Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper ... ??? Take my iPad ....

Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach

Husband faints

Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in your office only .


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BoyFriend v/s GirlFriend conversation

Girl: Baby you have changed a lot these days, you didn't even reply to my message last night.

Boy: No sweetheart I was just busy with work..

Girl: From the past 4-5 days you are using work as an excuse to being busy. I feel you're hiding something from me...

Boy: Not at all sweetheart, its just some tension..

Girl: You always hide your tensions from me. Please share it with me so that together we can come up with a solution. Come on let me know what the problem is.

Boy: Okay, then listen..
When I am storing data to the database it's shows 404 . But Null pointer exception is there, and there is missing connection string in web config. Actually data is already parsing but there is an error of json tag . I am trying to resolve the json data at runtime and sending using WCF.

Girl: Ok baby, mom is calling me.. I will catch you later..mmuuaahh


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Password Problems

WINDOWS : Please enter your new password.
USER : cabbage

WINDOWS : Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER : boiled cabbage

WINDOWS : Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER : 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS : Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER : 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS : Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.
USER : 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS : Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.
USER : 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS : Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS : Sorry, that password is already in use.

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Don't try to be smart everywhere

A guy was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library.

He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"
The girl replied in a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy, He was truly embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table,
and said with a laugh: "I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?"

The GUY then responded in a loud voice: "Rs.5000/- FOR ONE NIGHT!! ISN'T THAT TOO MUCH?"

All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy whispered to her: "I study law and I know how to screw people."

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1 or line

विनती है मेरी- कर दो तब्दील अदालतों को मयखानों में, सुना है नशे में कोई, झूठ नहीं बोलता।
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दुनियाँ में इतनी रस्में क्यों हैं, प्यार अगर ज़िंदगी है तो इसमें कसमें क्यों हैं, हमें बताता क्यों नहीं ये राज़ कोई, दिल अगर अपना है तो किसी और के बस में क्यों है…
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ये इश्क़ बनाने वाले की मैं तारीफ करता हूं... मौत भी हो जाती है और क़ातिल पकड़ा भी नही जाता..
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उम्र ज़ाया कर दी लोगों ने औरों के वजूद में नुक़्स निकालते निकालते इतना ही खुद को तराशा होता तो फ़रिश्ते बन जाते..
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बेवजह दीवार पर इल्ज़ाम है बंटवारे का लोगों, को एक कमरे में भी अलग रहते देखा है..
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हम न होते तो आपको ग़ज़ल कौन कहता आपके चेहरे को कंवल कौन कहता ये तो करिश्मा है प्यार करने वालों का वरना पत्थरो को ताज महल कौन कहता।
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दर्द को दर्द से न देखो, दर्द को भी दर्द होता है, दर्द को ज़रूरत है दोस्त की, आखिर दोस्त ही दर्द में हमदर्द होता है...
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चंद रुपयों मैं बिकता हैं यहां इंसान का ज़मीर, कौन कहता हैं मेरे देश में महंगाई बहुत है।
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कोई तो है जो फैसला करता है पत्थरों के मुकद्दर का.. किसे ठोकरों पर रहना है और किसे भगवान होना है।
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मेरी जिंदगी में खुशियां तेरे बहाने से है.... आधी तुझे सताने से है, आधी तुझे मनाने से है ।
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लहरों को खामोश देखकर ये मत समझाना, की समंदर में रवानी नहीं है... हम जब भी उठेंगे तूफां बनकर उठेंगे, बस अभी उठने की ठानी नहीं है....
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'कागज़' के 'नोटों' से 'आखिर'... 'किस-किस' को.....'खरीदोगे' 'किस्मत' 'परखने' के लिए 'आज' भी 'सिक्का' हीं 'उछाला' जाता है
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कितनी मिन्नतें कीं दर-दर की ठोकरें खाईं मां बाप ने की एक बेटा हो जाए... . . और वो हरामखोर FB पर प्रिया शर्मा बना बैठा है .!!
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जिस हॉस्पिटल में ये डॉक्टर हैं वहीं इनकी बीवी भी नर्स है. क्या अजीब जुल्म सहना पड़ता है अपनी बीवी को सिस्टर कहना पड़ता है
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मैँने लिखी गज़ल उसे बकरी चबा गई, चर्चा है चारों ओर बकरी शेर खा गई
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किस को क्या इलज़ाम दूं दोस्तो...,जिन्दगी में सताने वाले भी अपने थे,और दफनाने वाले भी अपने थे..
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कौन पूछता है,... पिंजरे में बंद पंछियों को, याद वही आते हैं, जो उड़ जाते हैं......
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सोचा था छुपा लेंगे गम अपना..। कमबख्त आंखों ने ही बगावत कर दी..।।
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खबर है कि उसने खरीद लिया है,करोड़ों का घर शहर में, लेकिन आंगन दिखाने बच्चों को,वो अब भी गांव आता है..
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