Stomach Is Getting Bigger

Wife : Honey, my stomach is getting bigger, i think i am pregnant.

Husband : Yeah, i know who the daddies are....

Wife : Who?

Husband :Mc Donalds, KFC, Subway, Dominos.


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Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the old people's home

Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the old people's home

one day when Tim turned to the other and said. John I'm really

feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?"

John replied "I feel just like a new born baby"

Tim looked at him startled "A new born baby, really?"

"Yep,I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."


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An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife along

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife along.

When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man,

I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells:


"What?"

"What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."


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What is Valentines Day

What is Valentines day?

Don't get married, everyday is Independence Day.

Marry the wrong person, everyday is Ching Mings Day.

Marry a lazy guy, everyday is Labour Day.

Marry a rich fellow, everyday is Chinese New year.

You married a childish guy, everyday would seem like Children's Day.

Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool's Day.

If you marry the right person, everyday is Valentines Day.


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Have a Good Day Sir

A senior citizen dove his brand new Mercedes Benz to 100mph, looking in his view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, he floored it to 140, then 150, then 170.

Suddenly he thought, " I'm too old for this nonsense". So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and i'm taking off for the weekend. "If you give me a good reason that i have never heard before for why you are speeding". I will let you go".

The man looked very seriously at teh police man and replied: Years ago, my wife run off with a policeman, I thought you are bringing her back!!!

The cop left saying, "Have a Good Day Sir".


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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of

Juan Gonez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun? What's a golf gun?'

'I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.'


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Crazy Prescription

Doctor to Patient : What's your problem?

Patient : I am feeling sleepy every time and tending to sleep more

Doctor : Which mobile you are using?

Patient : Nokia 1100

Doctor : Ok. I will write a prescription for Smart phone and use Jio sim in it and install whatsapp & Facebook.

You will be alright in a week....!!!



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