Wife Vs Astrologer

Once Wife goes to PALM reading Astrologer

Astrologer: Do you want to know your Husband future?

Wife: Rubbish, I will decide his future !!   You just tell me his PAST

............................

I lost my Wife...

Husband:     I lost my wife, she went shopping and hasn't come back yet.

Inspector:     What is her hight?

Husband:     I never checked.

Inspector:     Slim or healthy?

Husband:     Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector:     Colour of eyes?

Husband:     Never noticed.

Inspector:     Was she driving?

Husband:     yes.

Inspector:     Colour of the car?

Husband:    
Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an 8 speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode. And it has full LED headlights......and husband starting crying.

Inspector:     Don't worry sir...we will find your car.

.............................................................................

Intelligent Doctor

A Doctor opened a clinic & wrote outside the clinic:
Any treatment will cost Rs.300/- and if we can't treat, we will pay you back Rs.1000/-.

A CLEVER Man comes to do fraud & thinking to get Rs.1000.

He says to the Doctor: " I can't feel any taste on my tongue... "
Doctor asks the Nurse to put few drops of medicine from box no 22.

After that the MAN shouts: "What the hell ...its URINE!! "
The doctor says, " Congratulations, your sense of taste is back now ".

The MAN was angry as he lost Rs.300.
After 2 weeks MAN comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too.

MAN: Doctor, I have lost my memory.
Doctor: Nurse! please put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.

MAN: Wait doctor, but that medicine is for sense of taste.
Doctor: Congratulations, your memory is back.

Moral: Don't try to be over smart with Doctors... 

 

..........................

Rocking Indians.. :D

Americans have Invented one Machine to catch the Thieves.

And They have decided to test the Machine throughout the world.

In America, It caught 20 Thieves in 30 minutes.

In Japan, It caught 50 Thieves in 30 minutes.

In England, It caught 90 Thieves in 30 minutes.

In Ghana, It caught 120 Thieves in 30 minutes.

In Russia, It caught 150 Thieves in 30 minutes.

And finally The Machine reached India, But in India, the Machine was stolen by Thieves in 10 Minutes...

Rocking Indians...



................

Innocent Husband

In Heaven, God told all Husbands & Wives to gather for a Meeting! 

He told the men to stand in two Queues

1) Those who are controlled by their wives
2) Those who control their Wives

Only 1 man stood in the second Queue..

God said, "So you control your wife?" 

Man : "R U Crazy??? My Wife told me to stand here " 

   

..........................

Whats the difference between "LIKE" & "LOVE"??

Teacher: 
Whats the difference between "LIKE" & "LOVE"??

Student : 
When you LiKe a Flower, you just Pluck it.. But When you Love a Flower, you Water it Daily..


......................

Slapping Reply to Girl Friend

Ladki  : Jaanu, personal aur secret me kya difference hai...?

Ladka : Tum meri girlfriend ho yeh personal hai, aur tumhari behen bhi meri girlfriend hai, yeh secret hai...



............................