Have a Good Day Sir

A senior citizen dove his brand new Mercedes Benz to 100mph, looking in his view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, he floored it to 140, then 150, then 170.

Suddenly he thought, " I'm too old for this nonsense". So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and i'm taking off for the weekend. "If you give me a good reason that i have never heard before for why you are speeding". I will let you go".

The man looked very seriously at teh police man and replied: Years ago, my wife run off with a policeman, I thought you are bringing her back!!!

The cop left saying, "Have a Good Day Sir".


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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of

Juan Gonez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun? What's a golf gun?'

'I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.'


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Crazy Prescription

Doctor to Patient : What's your problem?

Patient : I am feeling sleepy every time and tending to sleep more

Doctor : Which mobile you are using?

Patient : Nokia 1100

Doctor : Ok. I will write a prescription for Smart phone and use Jio sim in it and install whatsapp & Facebook.

You will be alright in a week....!!!



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SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl's name is?

Me : Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel?

(Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You're no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK. OK. A vowel is... ahh... eh... well, oh... uh...

Me: Close enough.



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I Was In The Restaurant Yesterday When I Suddenly Realized

I Was In The Restaurant

Yesterday When I Suddenly Realized,

I Desperately Needed To Pass Gas.

The Music Was Really, Really Loud,

So I I Timed My Gas With The Beat Of The Music.

After A Couple Of Songs, I Started To Feel Better.

I Finished My Coffee, And Noticed That Everybody Was

Staring At Me. Then I Suddenly Remembered That I Was

Listening To My iPod....



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Never Loose Confident Boy

Never Loose Confident Boy Can There Be Anything Worse than Losing A Girlfriend ?

Old Man Replied :- Yes... . . . . .

Losing Your Confidence of Finding Another One!

Wife vs Thief

Police Inspector: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card at that time?

Husband: The Thief was spending less than my wife.

Inspector: Then why are you reporting it now?

Husband: I think now the Thief's wife has started using it!














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