Killing reply to Husband...

Wife: Can u help me in the gardening ?

Husband: What do u think I am...a gardener ?

Wife: Can u fix the door handle ?

Husband: What do you think I am... a Carpenter ?

In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.

Husband: Who did all this ?

Wife: Our neighbor.
But he gave me 2 options.....Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.

Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger.

Wife: What do u think I am.......McDonalds ?!!

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No One Can Beat Indian's Talent

An Indian Doctor can't find a job in USA..
So he opens a clinic and puts a sign
GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...
Lawyer: I have lost my sense of taste.
Doctor : Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.
Lawyer: Ugh..this is kerosene.
Doctor : Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20.

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

Lawyer: I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything.
Doctor : Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth.
Lawyer(Annoyed): This is kerosene. Last time U gave me for restoring my taste.
Doctor : Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20.

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all.
Doctor : Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100.
Lawyer: (staring at the note)* : "But this is $20, not $100.
Doctor : Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20.

*You can't beat Indians* !!!!!



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Difference between 2*3 and 3*2

Boy: I got an F in Arithmetic.

Dad: Why ?

Boy: The Teacher asked 'How much is 2 * 3' ?

and I said it is '6'.

Dad: But that's right only na..

Boy: Then she asked me 'How much is 3 * 2' ?

Dad: What's the XXXXX difference ?

Boy: That's exactly what I said!


.......................................................................

Teacher and Boy conversation

Teacher : what is your parents name??

Boy: my dad's name is laughing and my mom's name is smiling.

Teacher: you must be kidding.

Boy: Nope, I am joking

.................................

Somebody kills nobody

There are five friends named*

*Somebody*, *nobody,* *mad, stupid and fool*

*Somebody and nobody were fighting*

*Somebody killed nobody*

*Mad quickly called the police*

*Mad: Hello sir*

*Police: can we help you*

*Mad: yes somebody just killed nobody*

*Police: are u stupid!!*

*Mad: no, stupid is in the bathroom bathing*

*Police: are u mad!!!*

*Mad: yes am mad*

*Police: you must be a fool!!!*

*Mad: no, fool is the one reading this comment*

*Am sorry but I was also a victim....



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A child asked his father - How were people born?

A child asked his father,

How were people born?

So his father said,

Adam and Eve made babies,

then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question

and she told him, We were monkeys

then we evolved to become like we are now.

The child ran back to his father and said,

You lied to me! His father replied, No,

your mom was talking about her side of the family.


.........................................

Little Johnny asks his father

Little Johnny asks his father:

"Where does the wind come from?"

"I don't know."

"Why do dogs bark?"

"I don't know."

"Why is the earth round?"

"I don't know."

"Does it disturb you that I ask so much?"

"No son. Please ask. Otherwise you will never learn anything.


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