Fun Time: January 2018

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Girlfriend And Boyfriend Doing Love Chat In Park

Girlfriend And Boyfriend Doing Love Chat In Park.

Girlfriend: "How Much Do You Love Me?"

Boyfriend: "I'd Take Bullet For You."

Girlfriend: "Awwwww! Seriously?"

Boyfriend: "Yeah, Enfield Bullet In Dowry."

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A Love Couple Sitting In The Park, Boy Tries

A Love Couple Sitting In The Park, Boy Tries To Kiss The Girl.

Girl: "No Dear, Not All This Before Marriage"

Boy: "Don't Worry Darling, I Am Already Married"

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Difference between Mini Heart Attack and Heart Fail

Mini Heart Attack Vs Heart Fail:

A Man's Feeling.

It Feels Like A Mini Heart Attack,

When I Don't Find My Mobile In My Pocket.

& It's Almost Like Heart Fail,

When I See It In My Girlfriend's Hand.

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Democratic Difference Betwen USA & India

Democratic Difference Betwen USA & India

In USA: "You Can Kiss In A Public Place But Can't Susu."

In India: "You Can Susu In Public Place But Can't Kiss."

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Teacher Ask A Question To Santa. Teacher: What Is 5

Teacher Ask A Question To Santa.

Teacher: "What Is 5 Plus 4?"

Santa: "9"

Teacher: "And What Is 4 Plus 5?"

Santa: "Are You Trying To Fool Me, You've Just Twisted The Figure, The Answer Is 6."

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Dad: Why Didn't You Go For The Exam? Son: Paper Was

Dad: "Why Didn't You Go For The Exam?"

Son: "Paper Was Tough"

Dad: "Without Going, How Did You Know?"

Son: "Paper Was Leaked Two Days Ago"

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Teacher To Student: What Is Hyper Active Possessive

Teacher To Student: "What Is Hyper Active Possessive Definition Of Circulated Motion"

Student: "Zimbalakadi Takada Bamba Huchalu"

Teacher: "I Did Not Understand What You Said"

Student: "Same Here, Mam"

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Banta Asked To Santa. Banta: When You Kiss Your

Banta Asked To Santa.

Banta: "When You Kiss Your Wife?"

Santa: "I Kiss My Wife Before I Go To Office Every Day And You?"

Banta: "I Kiss Your Wife After You Go To Office Everyday"

Santa: "Ha Ha Ha, I Am First"

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A police officer stops a car. Officer: Your driving license

A police officer stops a car.

Officer: "Your driving license please."

Driver: "I'm really sorry, I forgot."

Officer: "At home?"

Driver: "No, to do it."

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Man: Hi, do you want to dance? Woman: Yeah

Man: Hi, do you want to dance?

Woman: Yeah, sure!

Man: Great, go and dance, I want to talk to your pretty friend!

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Tuesday, January 30, 2018

A man and his wife have to go to a doctor. The doctor asks

A man and his wife have to go to a doctor.

The doctor asks, "Do you share the same blood group?"

The husband replies, "We must by now. She's been sucking my blood for years."

A boy asked his father, Dad, how much

A boy asked his father, "Dad, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father grimly replied, "I wouldn't know son, I'm still not done paying for it."

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Son: I am not able to go to school today. Father: what

Son: I am not able to go to school today.

Father: what happened?

Son: I am not feeling well

Father: Where you are not feeling well?

Son: In school!

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A man was summoned to his attorney's office. Lawyer- Do you

A man was summoned to his attorney's office.

Lawyer- "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said.

Man- "Give me the bad news first."

Lawyer- "Your wife found a picture worth a million dollars."

Man- "That's the bad news?" laughed the man. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news."

Lawyer- The terrible news is...

"The picture is of you and your secretary!"

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Man To Super Hot Air-Hostess: What Is Your

Man To Super Hot Air-Hostess: "What Is Your Name?"

Air-Hostess:"Eva Benz!"

Man:"Wow, Lovely Name, Any Relation With Mercedes Benz?"

Air-Hostess Replied Smiling: "Yes, Same Price!!"

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Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Santa Calls The Help Desk To Complain About

Santa Calls The Help Desk To Complain About Computer Problem.

Santa: "When I Type Computer Password,

It Just Shows Star Star Star Star, What Is That Joke?"

Help Desk: "Dear, Those Stars Are To Protect You,

So That If A Person Standing Behind, He Can't Read Your Password"

Santa: "Yeah Okay, But Stars Appear Even When There Is No One Standing Behind Me"

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Maths Madam To Pappu: If You Have 12 Chocolates

Maths Madam To Pappu: "If You Have 12 Chocolates And

You Give 5 To Leena,

3 To Teena And 4 To Meena,

Then What Will You Get?"

Pappu: "3 New Girl Friends"

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Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful

Why do women live a Better, Longer & Peaceful life, as compared to men?

A very intelligent student replied to:

"Because Women don't have a wife!"

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I Sent A Text To My Wife Last Night: Hi Babe I'm At

Example Of A Clever & Smart Husband

I Sent A Text To My Wife Last Night: "Hi Babe I'm At The Pub With Some Lads, Please Try And Wash All My Dirty Clothes And Make Sure You Prepare My Favourite Dish Before I Return."

I Sent Another Text: "Babe I Forgot To Tell You That I Got An Increase In My Salary At The End Of The Month I'm Getting You A New Car"

She Text Back In One Second: "OMG Really?"

I Replied: "No I Just Wanted To Make Sure You Got My First Message."

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Two Guys Coming Out Of The Examination Hall With

Two Guys Coming Out Of The Examination Hall With Chips And Coke In Hand.

1st Guy: "Which Paper Was It?"

2nd Guy: "I Think, Math"

1st Guy: "Surprisingly, You Read The Question Paper?"

2nd Guy: "No, I Saw The Girl Sitting Besides Me Using Calculator"

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A Little Girl Asked Her Mother: How Did The Human Race

A Little Girl Asked Her Mother: "How Did The Human Race Start?"

The Mother Answered: "God Made Adam And Eve And They Had Children, And So All Mankind Was Made"

Two Days Later The Girl Asked Her Father The Same Question.

The Father Answered: "Many Years Ago There Were Monkeys From Which The Human Race Evolved"

The Confused Girl Returned To Her Mother And Said: "Mom, How Is It Possible That You Told Me The Human Race Was Created By God, And Dad Said They Developed From Monkeys?"

The Mother Answered: "Well Dear, It Is Very Simple. I Told You About My Side Of The Family, And Your Father Told You About His"

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A Soldier Rushes To His Captain & Says: One Enemy

A Soldier Rushes To His Captain & Says: "One Enemy Ship Is Approaching Us"

Captain Replies "David, Go Bring My Red Shirt"

Soldier Gets Shirt For His Captain.

Enemy Ship Comes In, Heavy Rounds Of Fire Are Exchanged.

Finally The Captain Wins.

Soldier Asks: "Congrats Sir, But Why The Red Shirt?"

Captain Replies: "If I Got Injured Then My Blood Shouldn't Be Seen As I Don't Want My Soldiers To Lose Hope"

Suddenly The Soldier Replied: "Sir, 20 Enemy Ships Are Coming"

Captain Replied: "David, Go And Bring My Yellow Trouser"

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Boy: Can I Hold Your Hand? Girl: No Boy:

Boy: "Can I Hold Your Hand?"

Girl: "No"

Boy: "Why?"

Girl: "Because It Hurts When You Leave It"

Boy (In His Mind): "Oh My God, I Am Acting But She Is Overacting"

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Santa Traveling First Time In Plane Going To Bombay

Santa Traveling First Time In Plane Going To Bombay,

While Landing, He Shouted: "Bombay-Bombay"

Air Hostess: "B-Silent Please"

Santa Said: "Omay - Omay"

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What Is The Best Punishment For A Girl? Give Her

What Is The Best Punishment For A Girl?

Give Her New Clothes, Matching Jewellry And Nice Cosmetics

And Then Lock Her In A Room Without A Mirror.

What Is The Best Punishment For A Boy?

Give Him A Mobile With A Lot Of Girl's Phone Numbers,

And Unlimited Credit & Put Him In A Place Where There's No Network.

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In Viva, Lecturer: Shall I Ask You Ten Easy Questions Or

In Viva, Lecturer: "Shall I Ask You Ten Easy Questions Or One Tough One?"

Student: "Ask Me Tough One"

Lecturer: "What Comes First, Day Or Night?"

Student: "Day"

Lecturer: "How Can You Exactly Say That?"

Student: "Sorry Sir, You Said You'll Ask Only One Question"

Moral: If Not Intelligent, Be Smart.

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Teacher: If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And

Teacher: "If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?"

Pappu: "Seven Sir"

Teacher: "No, Listen Carefully. If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?"

Pappu: "Seven"

Teacher: "Let Me Put It To You Differently. If I Gave You 2 Apples, And Another 2 Apples And Another 2, How Many Will You Have?"

Pappu: "Six."

Teacher: "Good. Now If I Gave You 2 Cats, And Another 2 Cats And Another 2,How Many Will You Have?"

Pappu: "Seven!!!"

Very Angry Teacher: "Where Do You Get Seven From?"

Very Angry Pappu: "Because I Already Have One At Home"

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A Junior In An Office Dialed His Boss Number By Mistake And Said

A Junior In An Office Dialed His Boss Number By Mistake And Said

"Send Me A Coffee To My Desk In 2 Minutes"

Boss Shouted: "Do You Know Who You Are Talking To?"

Junior: "No"

Boss: "I Am The Boss Of This Office"

Junior In The Same Tone: "Do You Know Who You Are Talking To?"

Boss: "No"

Junior: "Thank God"

And Disconnected The Phone.

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Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of

Three guys are stranded in a desert. By a stroke of luck, they find a magic genie lamp.

The genie grants each of them one wish.

The first guy wishes to be back home. Wish granted.

The second guy wishes the same. Wish granted.

The third guy says, "It feels very lonely here now, I wish my friends were with me..." Wish granted.

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Man: Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 year? Doctor: Do you

Man: Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 year?

Doctor: Do you smoke?

Man: No.

Doctor: Do you eat too much?

Man: No.

Doctor: Do you go to bed late?

Man: No.

Doctor: Do you have affairs with promiscuous women?

Man: No.

Doctor: Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?

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I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call

Guest at a restaurant: "I refuse to eat this roastbeef.

Please call the manager!"

Waiter: "That's no use. He wont eat it either."

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A man went to his lawyer and told him, My neighbor

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?"

"Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer.

"Nope," replied the man.

"OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer.

"But it's only $500," replied the man.

"Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!"

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Fun Time