Joke By Manager Of An IT Company

Manager told a joke. Everyone in the Team laughed except one guy...

Manager asks him: " Didn't you understand my Joke????"

The Guy replied : I resigned yesterday




...............................

A Cute Exercise Of Family Members

Teacher : Why are you late?

Student : Mom & Dad were fighting

Teacher : So what makes you late if they were fighting

Student : One Shoe was in Mom's Hand and Other one was in Dad's Hand





...............................

Parent's Slapping Response To Teacher's Letter

A Letter from a Teacher to A Parent:
     Dear Parent, Kumar doesn't smell nice in class. Please try to bath him.

Parent's Answer:
     Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a Rose, Don't smell him.. just Teach him....






...............................

Shocking reply to Mother...

Mother: Who is Aziz Sultan?
Son: I Don't Know?
Mother: Sometime give attention to Studies also..

Son: Do you know Chinky Aunty?
Mother: I Don't know?
Son: Sometimes give attention to Dad also...






...............................

Excellent Reply To Girlfriend

Girl : Honey, where did u buy this iPhone... its beautiful??

Boy : I didn't buy this one.. I just got it

Girl : From where??

Boy : On a Race and I'm the first to got it

Girl : Between whom?? and what is the no. of racers??

Boy : Its just 3....A Police, Phone owner and Me






...............................

Boys With True Heart

Boy to Girl before exam: All the best

Girl: All the best to you too

But girl scored 80% marks and boy failed

Moral: Only boys wish with true heart






...............................

Don't get up early in the morning..

One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.

There was not enough sun light to get into the sea.

He saw a pack of stones...

To pass time he started throwing the stone into the sea.

While having the last stone in the hand, The sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond.

he left for his misfortune of throwing all of them into the sea.

Moral of the story: Don't get up early in the morning.....!





...............................................................

Flying PIG

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left hand side there is a valley and on your right hand side there is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you.Flying Pig

In front of you there is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

Behind you there is a helicopter flying at ground level.

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the merry-go-round - you're drunk!




....................................

How fast you can guess these words?

How fast you can guess these words?

1) BOO_S

2) _ _ NDOM

3) F _ _ K

4) P_N_S

5) PU_S_S

6) S_X



Answers:

1) Books

2) Random

3) Fork

4) Pants

5) Pulse

6) Six

You got all 6 wrong!!! didn't you?....

May God excuse you for your dirty mind...




...........................................................................................

Daddy, I fell in love...

SON: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl!

FATHER : That's great son. Who is she?

SON : It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter

FATHER : Ohhh! I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister.

The boy naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later

SON: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!

FATHER: That's great son. Who is she?

SON: It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter.

FATHER: Ohhhh! I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.

This went on couple of times and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother

SON: Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but, I can't date any of them because daddy is their father!

The mother hugs him affectionately and said:
My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He isn't your father.


....................................................................

Son's Logical Reply to His Dad

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy.

"Why not, son?"

"Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day."

"But why don't you want to go today?"

"Because our English teacher died yesterday!"


........................................................

Funny Reply To Teacher

Teacher asked me which one is heavier - 1 Kg of Iron Ball or 1 Kg of Cotton Ball.

I told him Iron Ball is heavier .

But He didn't agreed and told me both have same weight.

So, I told him to hit me with 1 Kg of Cotton Ball and I will hit him with 1 Kg of Iron Ball . If both weights equal both will hurt equal .

Teacher left the job


.........................

Tit for Tat 2

Gajodar's Train Journey

TTE: Ticket please!
Gajodar: I don't have.

TTE : Where do you want to go?
Gajodar: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!.

TTE : Come, let's go?
Gajodar: Where?
TTE : Lord Krishna's birth place, Jail!.



......................

Are they that much pretty?

Boy: Hey...Your Teeth are like the Stars!!

Girl: Awww... Thanx..Are they that much pretty?

Boy: Nooooo... They are far away from each other...




.....................................................

Honey, can you do a favor for me

Wife: Honey, can you do a favor for me ?

Husband: Sure, anything for you my love.

Wife: Can you kill a lion for me?

Husband: Are you mad? To kill a lion for you? Request something else.

Wife: Ok then, can I go through your whatsapp?

Husband: Where is the lion you want me to kill?





........................................................................

Woman Can Break Any Kind Of Relationship

Do You Know The Relation Between Two Eyes?

They Never See Each Other.

But

1. They Blink Together.

2. They Move Together.

3. They Cry Together.

4. They See Together.

5. They Sleep Together.

They Share A Very Deep Bonded Relationship.

However, When They See A Woman, One Will Blink And Another Will Not.

Moral Of The Story: ¿Woman Can Break Any Kind Of Relationship.¿


..............................

Classroom Joke

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.

The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"

One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."

"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.



.......................

Excellent Interview By A Student

Interviewer: What's your email ID?

Candidate: Sir it is abc@xyz.com

Interviewer: Password?

Candidate: 12345678

Interviewer: You shared such a confidential information so easily for the job. How can we trust that you will not share any confidential information of the company for some better offers?

Candidate: Sir, I might have shared my password with you but I don't think you can still login to my email account. Let's look for the possibilities. My password can be

   12345678
   Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneight
   1twothreefourfivesixseveneight
   1twothreefourfivesixseven8
   2444666668888888 (read like one 2, three 4...)
   13355557777778 (1, two 3, four 5..., 8)....
..................... and so on....Combination of all of these...

By the way, did I mention use of capitals?

Finally that candidate was offered with the position as " HR Manager"


...........................

Will You remarry again?.

Husband: if i die will you remarry?

Wife: no I will stay with my sister. But if I die will you remarry?

Husband: no I will also stay with your sister.

Men will be men..




...............................

Joke On Comparison Of Cards

Debit Card : Its like Friendship...
  Advise to make adjustments in the Life.

Credit Card : Its like Girlfriend....
  Urge to spend more than our capability.

PAN Card : Its like Wife...
  Wants to Know Every Single Rupee of our Earnings...

...........................................

Best Explanation of GST

What is GST?

Earlier you had many "Girl friends, Friends, Half friends" Like " VAT/Service Tax/ Excise Tax etc"

Now Only one - "WIFE"

Remember all day
Report everything you do
Report every details in time.




....................

When Husband comes home drunk...

Husband comes home drunk.
To avoid wife's scolding, he takes a laptop and starts working.*

Wife: "Did u drink?"

Husband: "Noo!"

Wife: "Then Why are you typing on the Suitcase?"




....................

Innocent Husband And A Lawyer

Husband: Dear Lawyer, I want Divorce. My Wife has not spoken to me for 6 Months.

Lawyer : Think about it once again. Wives like that are too hard to get..




....................

Hillarious Lines by Son

Kid failed in the Exam

Father: Aaj se mujhe papa mat kehena....

Son: Ohh, come on dad, it was...just "School test" not a "DNA test"





.....................

Can you call my Boyfriend inside?

A Girl went to a Doctor

Girl: Can you call my Boyfriend inside?

Doctor: You don't need to be afraid, I am a decent man

Girl: No, actually your beautiful Nurse is standing outside and my Boyfriend is not decent, he is a Jaffa




.....................

Lovely Wife...

Wife buys 10 underwears of same color for hubby....

Hubby: Why same color sweetheart....People will think that I never change my underwear.

Wife: Which people??

Hubby remains Silent


.....................

Hey Man... Did you shake it?

A mad man saw his friend crying by a river side.

He sat down beside him and asked: "why are u crying?"

The other one answered: " I put a cube of sugar in this river, but when I tasted, I felt nothing. It's not sweet!"

The mad man blew up with laughter and said: " You, You are very mad! Did you shake it???"





.....................

Girl With Anxiety

Boy: Babe, I want to show you something...
Girl: Wow...what is it, darling?

Boy: But, can I show you this in your room?
Girl: Okay

Boy: Can we close the door?
Girl: mmm, okay

Boy: Can we close the window?
Girl: Very well... (grasping)

Boy: Can we turn off the light?
Girl: Yes (even grasping)

Boy: Grab my hand
Girl: (Grabs his hand) what is it honey?

Boy: Look at this... My watch can glow in the dark also





.....................