Tit for Tat

Wife : What is 10 years with me?
Husband : A second.

Wife : What is $1000 for me?
Husband : A coin.

Wife : Ok give me a coin.
Husband : Wait a second

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Mother Vs Son

Mother : Kyo ro rahe ho?

Son : Dad ne muje KISS nihi kiya..

Mother : Tumne Tables nahi sunaye honge

Son : Kaam wali AUNTY ko kuan se tables aate hain!


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Funny Interview session

In a Job Interview:

Officer : What is your name?
Manoj : M.P. sir

Officer : In full please
Manoj : Manoj Pandey

Officer : Your father's name?
Manoj : M.P. sir

Officer : What does that mean?
Manoj : Madan Pandey

Officer : Your native place?
Manoj : M.P. sir

Officer : What's that?
Manoj : Manipur Province

Officer : What is your qualification?
Manoj : M.P. sir

Officer : (Getting Angry) What is that?!!!
Manoj : Matriculation Pass

Officer : So why do you need a job?
Manoj : It is because of M.P. sir

Officer : Meaning?
Manoj : Money Problem

Officer : Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
Manoj : M.P. sir

Officer : And what is that?
Manoj : Marvelous Personality sir

Officer : I see... I will get back to you.
Manoj : Sir, how was M.P. sir?

Officer : And what's that again?
Manoj : My Performance

Officer : I think you have M.P.
Manoj : Meaning?

Officer : Mental Problem!!!


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Innocent Pappu

Preeto caught her husband Pappu searching high and low all around his living room.

Preeto : 'What are you searching for?'

Pappu : 'Hidden cameras!'

Preeto : 'And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?'

Pappu : 'That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying 'You are watching MTV! How does he know that?'


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Causes of Depression for Men & Women

MEN's Depression
•  Business Slow Chal raha hai..
•  Payment Time pe nahin aa rahi hai..
•  Telephone/Light ka bill bharna hai..
•  Gharwali ko Anniversary pe Gold leke dena hai..
•  Family ki baaki demands bhi poori karni hai...

WOMEN's Depression
•  Tailor se dress mangwana hai..
•  TV pe jo Loreal ki nayi Lipstick dikhayi hai, Aaj sham Market mein Uski enquiry karni hai..
•  Mall mein 50% Off Sale lagi hui hai, shopping ko jana hai..
•  Nanad se phone pe baat karni hai..
•  Tupperware wali ko aaj ghar pe bulana hai..
•  Bete ki result aaya hai(46%), kaamwali bai ke liye ek kilo mix mithai mangani hai..
•  Raat ko baahar se kya mangaoon khane ke liye..
•  Ye mobile ki battery bhi jaldi jaldi down ho jaati hai, main kisi se zyada baat bhi nahin karti..
•  Yeh Landline ka bill 2560/- kyun aaya hoga?
•  Kal mandir kya pehen ke jaoongi?
•  Profile Pic. change kiye 15 minute ho gaye hain.....abhi tak ek bhi like ya comment kyun nahi aaya hai..


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Innocent Gajodar

Gajodar was visiting Chandigarh for the first time. He wanted to see the Rock Garden.

Unfortunately, he couldn't find it, so he asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Rock Garden?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 46 bus. It'll take you right there."

He thanked the officer and the officer drove off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, Gajodar is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Rock Garden, I said to wait here for the number 46 bus. That was three hours ago. Why are you still waiting?"

Gajodar replied, "Don't worry officer, it won't be long now. The 43rd bus just went by!"


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Difference between Welding and Wedding

An Engineer was asked: " What is the Technical Difference between Welding and Wedding ...."

He replied:
" Not much; both are joints, in a way......."
In Welding there are sparks first and bonding forever;
whereas in Wedding there is bonding first and sparks forever


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