Doctor Vs Patient

Doctor: Why did you take your Antibiotic Medicine at 6 AM, when I told you at 9 AM..???

Patient: I wanted to surprise the bacteria by surgical strike.

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Hasty Wife...

Wife came home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

She saw Four Legs under the Blanket instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she saw her husband there, reading a magazine.

"Hi Darling", he says,

"Your Parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom."

Hope you have said hello to them....!!!!


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Enough about Wives, now something for Husbands...

A new metal is added to chemistry:
Name: Husband
Symbol: Hb
Atomic Weight: Light when first found, tends to get heavier over the years with time.

Physical Properties:
Boils at any time with inlaws.
Can freeze in front of his own family.
Melts if sees other women.
Very Bitter if questioned.

Chemical Properties:
Very Reactive
Highly Unstable
Possess Strong resistance to Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards & Cheque books.
Money saving Agent.

Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the TV.

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Abbreviations by Husband

Wife : "How would you describe me?"
Husband : "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife : "What does that mean?"
Husband : "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife : "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband : "I'm just kidding!"


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Student's funny replies in Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Student         : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Student         : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up
Student         : Bad.... Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Student         : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Student         : Insufficient! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your seat
Student         : Clever! Don't take my seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Student         : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Student         : You appoint me

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Hillarious comedy by Frustrated Husband

Frustrated Husband.

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
Dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting

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Funny replies by Farmer in TV Interview

Anchor : What food do you serve to your goat?

Farmer : to white one or to black one?

Anchor : to white one

Farmer : Grass...

Anchor : And to black one?

Farmer : Grass for that one too...

Anchor : where do you tie them?

Farmer : to white one or to black one?

Anchor : to white one

Farmer : in the room outside

Anchor : And the black one?

Farmer : in the same room outside

Anchor : And bathing?

Farmer : to white one or to black one?

Anchor : Black one...

Farmer : with water

Anchor : And to white one?

Farmer : With water for that one too...

Anchor : angrily,Idiot, while you do same stuff for both of them, why are you asking white or black each time?

Farmer : because the white one is mine..

Anchor : And the black one?

Farmer : it's also mine!

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