A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."



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A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.

What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.

The railroad engineer replied.

How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?



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During a cold winter day a wife messaged

During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that "the Windows frozen".

Husband replied to "pour some warm water on them".

After a while husband received a message again

"No way, the computer is completely spoilt now"!

A child asked to his mother: Child: mom!

A child asked to his mother:

Child: mom! Can you give me some money?

His mom: why?

Child: I will give to a old man

His mom: well done! Okay, where is the old man?

Child: Momm.. He is at the end of the street... He is selling ice-cream





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Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something. Teacher: yes

Sam: Dear sir, I want to ask you something.

Teacher: yes Sam, ask me, what do you want?

Sam: Sir, do you punish anyone for something they did not do?

Teacher: No Sam. Why should I?

Sam: Thank you sir. That's a relief. I haven't done the homework.






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Mirror mirror on the wall

"Mirror mirror on the wall,

who's the prettiest of them all?"

"OK, could you step aside a bit?

I can't see, you're too fat."




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Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"

Boyfriend: "You're both."

Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"

Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."




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