Friday, May 17, 2019

Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.

Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.

It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of cost today.

Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup.

It will be wonderful if you drink it from an empty cup today.


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A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.

A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari.

Policemen arrives.

Man:- (cried) Officer! My brand new car!

Police replied:- You?re suchmaterialistic.

You even haven?t notice that your left arm has been cut off.

Man-: He looks at his left arm and yells

OMG! My Rolex watch!.



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Son: I Dont Want To Go School Ma! All The Teachers Think I Am Stupid

Son: I Dont Want To Go School Ma!

All The Teachers Think I Am Stupid

and

The Kids Hate Me.
Mom:no! You Should Go, Because You Are The

Principal



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A cockroachs last words to a man who wanted to kill it :

This one is classic !!


A cockroachs last words to a man who wanted to kill it :


Go ahead and kill me, you coward.


You are just jealous because


I can scare your wife and you cannot..!





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Teacher : Whoever Answers My Next Question,Can Go Home.

Teacher : Whoever Answers My Next Question, Can Go Home.


A Boy Throws His Bag Out Through The Window.


Teacher: Who Threw The Bag ?


Boy : Me . . . I'm Going Home.












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A Boy after having great time with GF he saw a guys photo in Her bag,

A Boy after having great time with GF he saw a guys photo in Her bag,


asked is he your Ex-BF ??


GF kissed him, said no its me before surgery...












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Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?

Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?


Bunty: MS Excel


Lucky: MS Word


Bittu: MS Powerpoint


Pappu after thinking a lot, MS Dhoni












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1st Man: Which Is The Best Month To Get Married..?

1st Man: Which Is The Best Month To Get Married..?

2nd Man: Octemb ruary..

1st Man: Don't Be Silly,There Is No Such Month..

2nd Man: Exactly. . .












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Wife : I think?.Husband : ?Exactly !!!

Wife : I think?.

Husband : ?Exactly !!!

Wife : But I haven't said anything yet !!!

Husband : Doesn?t matter. You are RIGHT?.!

Happy International Peace Day
















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HR ? There is a 2 years gap on your CV !

HR - There is a 2 years gap on your CV !


Candidate ? I was in jail



HR - Why?



Candidate:- I killed the guy who told me : we will call you back



HR :- Welcome on board, you have the Job
















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Question ?Who is better?.?? Wife or sister

Question ?Who is better?.?

Wife or sister


Heart touching award winning answer:


Wife?s sister
















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A Woman Returned Home On Evening And Asked Her New Maid

A Woman Returned Home On Evening And Asked Her New Maid,

Woman: Did You Clean Out The Refrigerator As I Told You?

Maid: Yes, Mam, And Everything Was Very Tasty
















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Record breaking - 1 million idea connections sold in just 3 days due to

Record breaking - 1 million idea connections sold in just 3 days due to


one simple printing mistake of one word in the idea slogan


Idea can change your WIFE
















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Cute Girlfriend : My Heart Is Like Moble and You Like a Sim Card..!

Cute Girlfriend : My Heart Is Like Moble and You Like a Sim Card..!


Boyfriend : I Am Very Happy.!


Girlfriend :don't Be Too Happy..


if I Get a New Offer , I Will Change the Sim Card..














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akhil: Madam, Can I Go To The Bathroom?

akhil: Madam, Can I Go To The Bathroom?


Madam corrected that wrong sentence: May I Go To The Bathroom?


akhil: But I Asked First














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Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk

Anna: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk

and gained twenty pounds in a week.



Ben: That's impossible. Whose baby?


Anna: An elephant's.














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A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant, "Are you single?"

A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant, "Are you single?"


I happily replied, "Yes..."


She took away the extra chair in front of me













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A Man Was Going In His Ferrari Suddenly Had An Accident.

A Man Was Going In His Ferrari Suddenly Had An Accident.

The Car Was Totally Wrecked But Some How The Man Was Safe.

Policemen Arrives

Man Cried: Officer, My Brand New Car.

Officer: You Are Such A Materialistic Sir, You Even Havent Notice

That Your Left Arm Has Been Cut Off.

Man Looks At His Left Arm And Yells: Oh My God! My Rolex Watch.













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Raju To Boss: I Got To Definitely Have A Salary Increase,

Raju To Boss: I Got To Definitely Have A Salary Increase,

Three Other Companies Are After Me

Boss: Really? Which Are The Three Companies?


Raju: The Electricity Company, The Telephone Company And The Gas Company












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Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water?

Teacher: who will tell the chemical formula of water?


One student: Its h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.


Teacher: What is this?


Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O !!



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A: I have the perfect son. B: Does he smoke?

A: I have the perfect son.


B: Does he smoke?


A: No, he doesn't.


B: Does he drink whiskey?


A: No, he doesn't.


B: Does he ever come home late?


A: No, he doesn't.


B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?


A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.




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Management student kisses a girl. Girl-whats this?

Management student kisses a girl. Girl-whats this? Boy- its called DIRECT MARKETING. Girl slaps d boy Boy-what is this? Girl- this ...