Mirror mirror on the wall

"Mirror mirror on the wall,

who's the prettiest of them all?"

"OK, could you step aside a bit?

I can't see, you're too fat."




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Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?

Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"

Boyfriend: "You're both."

Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"

Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."




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My husband and I couldn't decide

My husband and I couldn't decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.

"If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend,"

I said, "what would you get?"

"A bulletproof one," he said. "I'm married."



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While I was out to lunch

While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and

told the caller that I would be back iin 20 minutes.

The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"



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Wife To Husband On The Phone

Wife To Husband On The Phone,

Wife: "Hey Baby, How Are You Doing?"

Husband: "Listen, I Am Really Busy, Don't Have Time To Talk At All"

Wife: "Well Baby, I Have A Good News And Bad News For You. You Want To Hear Them?"

Husband: "Just Tell Me The Good News, I Don't Have Time For The Bad!"

Wife: "Okay, Good News Is The Air Bags Of Our New BMW Work Absolutely Fine"




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Boss: We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness.

Boss: We Are Very Keen On Cleanliness. Did You Wipe Your Feets On The Mat As You Came In?"

New Employee: "Yes, Sir"

Boss: "We Are Also Keen On Truthfulness. There Is No Mat"




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Three Fastest Means Of Communication

Tele-Phone
Tele-Vision
Tell A Woman
Bonus: Need Still Faster - Tell Her Not To Tell Anyone.





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