Saturday, November 4, 2017

Anything Not Linked With Aadhar Is Getting Blocked...!!!

Best one heard today....

Guy : What happened?

Girl : My nose is blocked.

Guy : Did you link it with Aadhar?

Girl : No

Guy : That's why. Anything not linked with Aadhar is getting blocked..!!!



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Tom was invited to his friends house for dinner. He found that his buddy

Call His Wife Every Cute Name

Tom was invited to his friend's house for dinner. He found that his buddy

called his wife every cute name in the book: honey, darling, sweetheart,

pumpkin, and baby.

When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, I

think it is nice you still call your wife all those pet names. To tell you the

truth," his friend said, "I forgot her name abut three years ago."


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Even Gods Need Protection

Wife to hubby : Darling, in picture of Shiva-Parvati, Shiva has a trishool

In picture of Vishnu-Lakshmi, Vishnu has chakra in hand and

picture of Rama-Sita, Rama has bow in hand.

But in case Krishna-Radha, he has flute in hand.

Why is this?

Hubby : You see dear the three gods whom you mentioned first are with wives.

That is why they have weapons...!!

Krishna is with his girlfriend. Hence no weapons required.

This shows when it comes to dealing with wives, even gods need protection.


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Stomach Is Getting Bigger

Wife : Honey, my stomach is getting bigger, i think i am pregnant.

Husband : Yeah, i know who the daddies are....

Wife : Who?

Husband :Mc Donalds, KFC, Subway, Dominos.


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Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the old people's home

Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the old people's home

one day when Tim turned to the other and said. John I'm really

feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?"

John replied "I feel just like a new born baby"

Tim looked at him startled "A new born baby, really?"

"Yep,I have no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."


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An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife along

An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife along.

When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man,

I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells:


"What?"

"What did he say? What's he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."


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What is Valentines Day

What is Valentines day?

Don't get married, everyday is Independence Day.

Marry the wrong person, everyday is Ching Mings Day.

Marry a lazy guy, everyday is Labour Day.

Marry a rich fellow, everyday is Chinese New year.

You married a childish guy, everyday would seem like Children's Day.

Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool's Day.

If you marry the right person, everyday is Valentines Day.


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Have a Good Day Sir

A senior citizen dove his brand new Mercedes Benz to 100mph, looking in his view mirror, he saw a police car behind him, he floored it to 140, then 150, then 170.

Suddenly he thought, " I'm too old for this nonsense". So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the police car to catch up with him.

The officer walked up to him, looked at his watch and said, "Sir my shift ends in ten minutes. Today is Friday and i'm taking off for the weekend. "If you give me a good reason that i have never heard before for why you are speeding". I will let you go".

The man looked very seriously at teh police man and replied: Years ago, my wife run off with a policeman, I thought you are bringing her back!!!

The cop left saying, "Have a Good Day Sir".


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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of

Juan Gonez.

'How was he killed?' asked one detective.

'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.

'A golf gun? What's a golf gun?'

'I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan.'


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Management student kisses a girl. Girl-whats this?

Management student kisses a girl. Girl-whats this? Boy- its called DIRECT MARKETING. Girl slaps d boy Boy-what is this? Girl- this ...